Dear Moochers,

      I'm seriously, completely over you. A number of you have been in my life for entirely too long, and frankly its half my fault for not kicking you to the curb sooner. I'm putting my foot down from now on. I can be nice, giving, and helpful, but that doesn't mean you take advantage of people like me. You will never again make me feel guilty or obligated to cover you, give you money, host you, or help you.   

Dear Facebook,

       Stop telling me I have a message, when I indeed do not. I get overly excited about someone sending me a private message, only to have my hopes crushed.

Dear Good Friends,

       Thanks for everything. I really don't know what I would do without you. Thank you for forgiving me when I'm wrong, loving me when I'm being stubborn, and understanding when I never return your call or text message. I'm still really bad at that.

Dear Scout,
       If you shred a cardboard box, please have the consideration to clean it up. I know you're totally adorable, but I draw the line at slimy, soggy, cardboard. 


Dear Summer,
      Chill the heck out...literately.


Dear the new Batman movie,
     You were pretty good, but not as good as the Dark Knight. 


Dear Life,
     How is it possible to feel overwhelmingly blessed, grateful, and happy, yet completely annoyed, disheartened, and plain crazy all at the same time. I don't even know what my brain is doing most of the time this week. I need to get a grip. Or chocolate. For now I'll go with chocolate. 


Dear Evan,
   You're the best husband ever. I know some people might think they have the best husband, but really, they're very wrong. Even when I'm acting irrational, you go along with me like I'm acting normal. Sometimes its nice to have someone let them be crazy for just a few minutes. I miss you so much all the time, especially because there is a huge lack of coffee in our mugs, boot dirt in my carpet, and boy clothes in the washer. 


Dear Landlord,
     The tree that fell in my front yard in JUNE is still there. Just in case you haven't checked your calender its almost August, and my yard is starting to look like jungle. I've called and asked you nice twice. I don't want to be mean and annoying. Just get it out of here! 


Dear Army,
     You know exactly what I'm going to ask you. Stop making me bother you. I have a feeling this is going to continue for another 4-5 months.

Dear YouTube,

      Thank you for the thousands of mindless videos about kittens and puppies. Most importantly thank you for music, since I'm too cheap to buy it myself.

Eloquent Words

"In letter writing as in conversation it will be found that those who substitue the design of distinguishing themselves for that of giving pleasure to those whom they address must ever fail. Having decided upon what is proper to be said accustom yourself to express it in the best possible manner. Always use the words that most exactly correspond with the ideas you mean to express. There are fewer synonymous words in our language than is generally supposed, as you will find in looking over your Dictionary. It was been remembered upon as a great excellence of General Washington's writings that no one could substitute a single word which could so well express his meaning. I have heard that at for seven years of his life he never wrote without having his Dictionary before him." - Major Dulany of Maryland