Why You Should Hate The Notebook

I don't understand the absolute obsession over The Notebook. I'll give it to Nicholas Sparks, he did a great job romanticizing a story that is completely unrealistic and utterly stupid. 3 quick reasons as to why you should hate The Notebook.

1. It makes cheating not only OK, but elusively romantic.
2. It leads people to believe that you can eat and pay rent with love.
3. Impulsive, foolish, and childish decisions are welcomed without any negative consequences.

If you still don't believe me, please by all means, read on. It makes my heart hurt to think that this is what girls think real love looks like. Now before I have people scratching my eyes out over this, please read this short, adapted story written by yours truly to see the real version of The Notebook.

Pretend you knew a girl named Sallie. Her parents adored her, and did everything they could to make sure she could be successful. She was bright, beautiful, and on the right track to a prosperous life. Then, Sallie starting hanging out with Moses. Moses was a nice boy, but not exactly the best for Sallie. Her parents understood that Sallie was in love, it hurt them a lot to know she was so unhappy by taking her away from him. Deep down they knew that they were doing the best for their daughter. If they didn't move away, Sallie would simply marry Moses and immediately start popping out babies. They would most likely be poor, living paycheck to paycheck. They would struggle and live a hard life to make ends meet. Who would want this kind of life for their precious daughter? Her parents knew if she simply got away from this summer crush she would soon move on, like most young love does. Sallie had bigger dreams to fulfill than staying in a tiny town, she just didn't know it. Sallie does eventually forget about Moses, even though it was unbearable at first. She becomes a nurse and is really good at what she does. As a nurse she's caring, smart on her feet, and takes care of her patients with tender care. She meets a handsome, young, brave soldier who treats her like any girl would want to be treated. Ron loves Sallie so much, he buys her flowers for no reason, he would do anything for her, and he truly cares about her. Her parents love Ron, and take him into the family as their own son. Then, Sallie goes through a quarter life crisis. She wonders how different her life would be if she would have done things differently. Don't we all do this? Then again, we don't all act on it...Anyway, Sallie decides to visit her old small town, and see how everyone is doing, specifically Moses. Ron is so supportive and trusting of Sallie, that he fully supports her in wanting to get away for a few days. He knows all the stress of planning their wedding is really getting to her. Sallie ends up finding Moses. Over the years he has turned...insane, literately. Sometimes he sleeps around with a local girl he doesn't care about, who is willing to answer to his every booty call, but its no big deal. It's totally romantic remember? He's been so obsessed with Sallie that hes been engulfed by building her dream house, despite the fact he hasn't talked to her in years. Creeperish? Just a tad. Sallie ends up hanging out at his house, flirting with him like crazy, and hooking up with him. Word gets around like it always does, and people hear that Sallie has cheated on her fiance, that any girl would kill for, with the crazy high school fling down the street. I believe the word that most people would bring to mind is slut. She then tells her fiance what happened, who is absolutely heartbroken, but he loves her so much, he forgives her. Unfortunately, Sallie doesn't know who she wants. Ron decides that if Sallie really wants to be with him, he will wait for her, and if she doesn't, he loves her enough to let her go to be happy. (Who does this?? Why does nobody feel bad for Ron?? Seriously if anything, everyone watching this movie reading this story should be beating each other to get to Lon, I mean Ron!!! HELLO!!!) Sallie ends up choosing the mildly insane, but sexually satisfying Moses. Because we all know that good sex is the most important part of any marriage. When Sallie gets old and loses her mind, Moses treats her just like the crazy person she is by reading her the same story everyday. Because like she will remember, right?! TA DA! Who thought that was a good story?!

It really doesn't sound so appealing this way, does it?

I think the reason I hate The Notebook is the simple fact that nobody feels bad for Lon. Allie is a very hurtful and self centered person, only thinking about what she wants, and only how it effects her. She changes her mind on a dime and gets away with it! Lon is absolutely crushed, but its ok because Allie and Noah are totally in love. Never-mind that Allie has has built a life with Lon. Never-mind that she told him she loves him and promised to marry him. Allie has changed her mind, so he has to deal with it. "Lon loves Ally, is emotionally stable, financially stable, enamored by her, but it does not compare to the more raw and passionate relationship between her and Noah, and in the end Lon lets her go to Noah. Whilst it is easy to see the beauty of the true love between Noah and Ally in this situation, we forget that Lon is left behind and that this is a good man who loves and cares for Ally deeply. The fact that she leaves a man like this for a more tempestuous relationship and financially insecure man, leaves men to think, what do women want?" (via)

Girls swoon over The Notebook because of one simple reason: devotion. If we met Noah/Moses in real life we would all think he was a complete whack job for building the exact replica of the house Allie/Sallie dreamed of when she was 16. But separate the bonkers and you'll find adoration. Isn't this what we all really want? For someone to love us just like our wedding vows say. In good times and bad, sickness and health, rich or poor. Even when Allie turns her emotions on a dime, hurting everyone around her, Noah loves her anyway. He hangs off of a ferris wheel to get her, he dances with her in the middle of the street, doesn't pressure her to have sex with him, he writes her letters everyday for a year, he works tirelessly on a house that she might never see, he makes her a candle light dinner, kisses her in the rain, he leaves wild flowers on her pillow when she wakes up...I could go on. Noah wants Allie, and only Allie, until they are old and wrinkly. Girls, you need to realize that there are Noah's' out there for you, but these Noah's aren't hairy or insane; they have jobs, they have responsibilities, they have goals. They don't have time or money to build dream houses for years on end, waiting for you to find them. They are called Lon's.

What The Notebook didn't show was 10 years down the road when Noah was zoning-out in front of the radio with a beer, while Allie had 3 kids hanging off her screaming their brains out, while she tried to clean the house and cook dinner all at the same time. They didn't show Allie and Noah fighting about all those years he was sleeping with another girl for kicks. If he was really that devoted to her, why didn't he wait for Allie? They didn't show the red lines scribbled through their checkbook, which made them so stressed they couldn't enjoy being together. They didn't show all of the mindless fights because of their unstable, unpredictable emotions. Because that is what real life looks like. What more could a girl ask for than to be loved, adored, and taken care of by a handsome, emotionally strong and stable man? So Ladies, (and gentlemen) save yourself some headaches and pick yourself out a Lon.

Book Review

Revolution 

via

Revolution is a young adult historical fiction novel. The main character, Andi, is a struggling teenager. When her younger brother Truman is killed, it tears her entire family apart. A cloud of darkness hovers over her life, and Andi blames herself for her brother's death. Her father, a successful Noble Prize wining geneticist, stays away working, while her mother goes insane by spending day after day painting her dead brother. Andi is left with just her shattered emotions, and her music. Music is Andi's escape from the pain she can't bear to deal with. Andi struggled in school, not because she wasn't smart - she was brilliant - but because of the constant pressure to do well, she rebelled and blew everything off. She hung out with the wrong crowd and didn't care about anything except music. She can be very angry, hurtful, and venomous at times. She is on anti-depressants which she misuses to smother the pain by taking too many, or mixing them with alcohol. When her dad returns from a long absence he decides to take matters into his own hands to fix is withering family. He puts his wife in a Brooklyn mental hospital, and tells Andi she is coming with him to Paris (how horrible!) until she finishes her thesis to graduate. While researching and exploring Paris, she meets Virgil, a boy who loves Andi for who she is, even when she tries to push him away. When Andi finds an old diary belonging to Alex, a girl her very age, only living during the French Revolution in 1795, her life takes an unexpected turn. Alex and Andi have a lot in common. They are both very artistic. Andi with music, and Alex with theatrics. They both are motherly figures. Andi to Truman (her brother) and Alex to Louis (the Dauphin of France). Both of these boys die at the same age. Despite the time differences they are both feisty, smart, and strong-willed. Andi ends up warping back in time to June 1795, in the same shoes as Alex. Andi learns the importance of love, liberty, and the revolution within a person.

At the start of the book Andi is a pretty dark character that I had a hard time relating too. Donnelly does a great job contemplating and complying how a rebellious teenager would react and feel to situations, but I don't know if the majority of people can relate of how she deals with pain. (Then again, this is a young adult novel) For example: She would become so engulfed in playing her guitar that she would play through the pain of her fingers bleeding.

Gross. 
Maybe it's because if I get a paper cut I'm whining about it for the next 3 days, let alone willful, self-inflicting pain. A little too emo for my taste.

 The tempo of Andi's thoughts are disorganized, but somehow meshes for her character. Donnelly uses a lot of musical references for Andi's thoughts and emotions, further deepening Andi's connection with music. However, I found a lot of the songs and lyrics in the book were unfamiliar. I feel like I needed Youtube up to research the songs to understand the backdrop of inspiration as I read. Much of the musical references felt forced and awkward. There are "rapping" lyrics also inserted, which I skipped over and didn't bother reading. All of the songs felt like they were more in the way, than adding to the story.

The story-line didn't quite flow. The feel of this book starts out very dark, emotional, rustic, yet mysterious. Which I really enjoyed! Then, out of what seems like nowhere it turns into a time traveling, teenage romance. The two halves of the book don't quite go together. Donnelly didn't transition the "time-traveling" scene well, it happens out of nowhere! It made the whole story turn for the worst in my opinion. I think it would have flowed better if the "ghosts" Andi had been seeing became real in present day France, rather than her traveling back to the past.

Donnelly did do a great job researching the historical background for the novel, which as a history buff myself, I really appreciate that she took so much time doing so. I learned a lot of interesting knowledge that I had no idea occurred before now! (I'm currently reading The Days of the French Revolution because of it!) I think she made the French Revolution have life, rather than reading from a distant account. It is a great way to have young adults learn about history without wanting to stab themselves in the eye over and over again.

I also enjoyed how Donnelly slowly peeled away facts about Andi's past. At the start of the book we know Andi blames herself for her brother's death, but it's not until later that we learned she was supposed to be walking with him to school when he died. It made you intrigued to keep reading, but didn't hold out too long to be exasperating. Overall, this book is well-written, mysterious, and interesting. But, between the flawed storyline and the music references it just made it a little choppy. I would recommend it, but I wouldn't put it on my library shelf to read again. 

Kirby Man Hell

I am currently awake at 11:23 p.m. because of the damn Kirby man.

Who might the Kirby man be you ask?

A Death Eater. 

(All my negative references keep going back to dark Harry Potter characters for some reason)

Seriously I'm so upset right now. I feel frustrated, and walked all over. As soon as I walked in the door I dropped my bags, said "hi" to Scout, and set my Zaxby's dinner on the table. I've been craving Zaxby's like no other, so saying I was pumped was an understatement. Then someone knocked at the door. I opened it and there was a girl standing there. Scout meanwhile bolted out the door, so I politely told her to wait one minute while I made sure he didn't run away. As I turned around to go back in the house, this girl had already made her way into the foyer of my house! A little put off, I asked her what I could do for her. She then offered to clean my carpets for free, no strings attached. I tried not to be rude, but told her I was just about to sit down to eat dinner, maybe next time. She told me it would only take 20 minutes, and seemed pretty persistent and wouldn't leave. "OK, Fine" I said. What could it hurt?

WORST CHOICE OF MY ENTIRE LIFE. 

The next thing I know 2 guys are hauling big boxes into my house. 

The guy first asked me what kind of sweeper I had. I told him I just bought a new sweeper less than 6 months a go, so I wasn't interested in buying a new one. He still persisted in demonstrating the Kirby, which he referred too as the holy of hollies when it came to sweepers. They start vacuuming with these little "test pads" which their bags are made out of. They laid these test pads all over my house. (I know they want to show me how much my sweeper sucks, and how dirty my carpets "really" are) The coffee table, my sofa, the end tables, the fireplace, were all strewn with these stupid pads. When Scout walked on them they proceeded to yelled at him when he messed them up. HES A DOG FOR GOD SAKE. 

He showed me the prices. These sweepers cost $2,400. Or, you can do monthy payments of between $200-$350 a month for 12 months. THAT IS A MOTHER FREAKIN CAR PAYMENT PEOPLE! I told him I didn't feel comfortable with spending that kind of money (EVER) without talking to my husband first. They asked when he would be home. I panicked. I simply told them he was training (I didn't mention he was away and wouldn't be home). They said to call him. I told them he couldn't answer. They told me to take a picture of their stupid pads and send it to him. I told them his phone was shut off. They even said they would wait at my house until he called me! I was beginning to get really annoyed. These people were relentless! 

This guy swept my floor and my couches showing me all the little tools for 2 FREAKING HOURS. "Your husband has allergies, you need this sweeper. They guilt tripped me every which way: "That's not fair to let him suffer because you didn't buy a good enough sweeper in the first place." They made me feel stupid: "I can't believe you paid that much for that hunk of plastic!"  Then, he suggested I let him sweep my mattress. I told him that's where I draw the line; absolutely not. I told him I was not buying this sweeper, so he should call his boss that conveniently left him at my house to come get him and his little side-kick monkey too. He told me a sob story about how his laptop just died, and that he could win a trip to Vegas and a new laptop if I helped him out. He kept trying to get me to pick a payment option. I asked him if I bought the sweeper if I could go to Vegas all expenses paid too. He laughed, but I knew he didn't think it was funny. BECAUSE LETS BE HONEST: THIS SWEEPER COSTS AS MUCH AS A VACATION!

FINALLY his stupid boss arrived.

His boss was upset that I didn't get my carpets shampooed yet. The last thing I wanted was for these fools to stay in MY house one minute longer. He kept repeating over and over that it was part of the demo and it needed to be done. I probably told him - no lie - 6 times NO! (Note: this is where I let Scout back inside so he could jump all over them, sniff their crotches, and lick them. Bravo Scout! AND it's now almost 8:00 at night) Then he started: "If your husband was here right now what would he think?" I told them he would beat me for spending that kind of money on a stupid sweeper. When they finally realized that they weren't getting a sale they packed up their crap while they pouted. The boss was clearly upset that this kid didn't make the sale...I kinda felt bad for him because I knew he was probably going to get yelled at once he left. But you know what? It's ME that's sitting up late in bed upset, NOT THEM.

When I finally slammed the door shut and locked it, I remembered my Zaxby's. It was completely cold, and my toast and fries were completely soggy. SO MUCH FOR MY $8 MEAL. Now I'm out because of THEM. Ugh SERIOUSLY'?! I'm so mad at myself for not telling them to leave sooner. I should have walked back the hall, got the gun, and told them to leave. NOW. If another Kirby person from hell shows up at my door I'll loose it. I don't understand how these people think they have a right to be so demanding and pushy while they are in other people's homes. It really blows my mind. Watch out Kirby man, WATCH OUT! 

Book Review

Bird by Rita Murphy

Bird, is a young adult fairy tail. The story begins with the main character Miranda, who is a small, thin wisp of a girl who is easily carried off by the wind. She arrived at Bourne Manor, which sits on the shore of Lake Champlain, by a strong wind. Bourne Manor is quietly whispered about by everyone in the town. It is a mysterious old house that seems alive with misfortune, charm, and controlling powers that encompasses those who reside there. Miranda cannot remember where she came from, and has grown up only knowing Wysteria and the four hounds who occupy the manor. Wysteria an elderly widow who is somewhat cold, hard, and controlling who doesn't seem to care for Miranda like a daughter, but more like a maid. We're never sure if Wysteria is a naturally hardened person, or if the house itself is weaving its darkness into her. Miranda does not see herself as a slave at first; she sees herself as eternally grateful for Wysteria's kindness to take her in. Miranda spends all of her time at the manor, and isn't allowed to venture outside for fear of being carried off by the wind. When she does go outside Miranda wears a pair to steel plated boots to stay securely to the ground. Miranda then befriends Farley, who gives her a taste of freedom, adventure, and a side to the brave Miranda that she never knew existed. Miranda and Farley try to figure out the mystery and fortune of Bourne Manor, and escape before its too late.  

The creativity and sheer uniqueness of this story was a pleasure to read. The books feel eerie and enticing with a twist of magical delight. The characters were exceptionally well-developed, and Miranda might be one of my favorite characters that I've encountered in all my reading. Overall, I really loved this book, although it had even greater potential if the author would have done several things:

 1. I had a hard time understanding who this book was intended for. Children? Tweens? Teens? The book is written simply and is very whimsical, making you believe it may be for children. But, the dialogue of the characters refers to an older audience. The age of Miranda is also hard to pinpoint. At first I pictured her as a young child, but then throughout the book she seems older: 14, maybe 15. 

2. The book needed expanded by at least 100 pages. It was a little short, and kind of left us hanging and still wondering.  

3. Although the characters were not undeveloped, the overall story line was, but I think this goes along with the book being too short. Much of the story is engulfed in bewilderment. Most of the time one could see this as an appealing, suspenseful aspect, but in this case the majority of the story we're left in darkness just wondering...and wondering. Every time you think you might learn part of a secret, the author never really manifests any answers. For example, Miranda finds a bottle hidden in Wysteria's room with her name on it. She eventually learns it's a sedative, but we never learn its purpose or if it was ever actually used on Miranda! Small parts of the story like this seem imperative to unlocking the whole mystery, but we never do! I especially wish she would have expanded on Bourne Manor, Wysteria, and Miranda's past. I think it would have helped understanding why certain events happened in the book, especially if we knew more about the house's past since it was the predominate reason for events and kept the story moving. Although most of the book leaves us with even more questions, I stilled liked it, which is saying something.  

This book has little riddles whispering through the underlying pages of the book, which then transfer into the fascination of the Bourne Manor and Miranda, even after you put it down. As I sit here, I still feel like if I think about it enough, I can still lift the fog from the Bourne Manor and what all the clues meant. This is why this book was still good. In most stories if we don't figure out the mystery we're disappointed, but Rita Murphy manages to turn disappoint into a lingering sense of hope and wonder. I would absolutely recommend this book!

Awkward...

Friday night Evan and I went to dinner with another couple. We had such a great time! Both of our husbands are deploying together this time around, so it's nice to get to know someone to hang out with once they are gone. All things aside, I potentially altered our friendship. I did it again. I brought on the awkwardness.

Somehow I always manage to make a totally normal conversation completely awkward at some point. Maybe it's just me over-analyzing the situation, you tell me.

I might have used the words "lock and load" when describing the top of my suit. And described that I specifically order this suit to ah...exemplify my current (lack of) boobs. Oops. Don't worry, they laughed, but in the this-girl-is-crazy kind of way. Oh Meredith, why, why, WHY. Maybe I should limit my table topic choices.

Here is my suit; isn't it cute?

Obviously I don't have that whole situation going on on top, but the description totally sucked me in. "Love lift? Crave cleavage? Get the perfect level of push-up, with removable padding for extra oomph." Umm YES! But, as I was perusing Victoria Secrets suites, I noticed something. Some of the pictures are more awkward than my actual dinner conversation. 

 This one looks like she's about to pull down her bottoms to go #2...in a really dramatic way.

 Sometimes I lay on the beach rubbing sand all over my sexy chest too! It's not a big deal OK?!

I don't understand why she's so angry...maybe it's the suit?

Don't these swim suites automatically look way cuter just because of the more natural/non hardcore poses?

Dear Victoria Secret,

All of your suits are super awesome. But, just to let you know your angry hardcore models aren't selling any suits to me. I like these natural girls to actually look happy and comfortable. I know I'm not on a PR team or anything, but I'm sure most people would agree. 

Just letting you know,

Meredith

Book Whore

I'm a book whore.

Ever since Laura Ingalls Wilder lived in her warm little cabin in the woods with Pa, Ma, Mary, and Carrie I've been sold.

Every year when my family would go on vacation, my mom and dad always gave my brother and I a little money to buy some souvenirs with. And every year my brother and I gladly squandered invested all of our money at the bookstore. We didn't care about t-shirts, colored seashells, or a memorable magnet. No, not even toys could tempt us! We would spend hours contemplating on what books to buy.

Yesterday I finished reading The Memory Keeper's Daughter by Kim Edwards.

It's been raved about by the New York Times and many others. It's a story about a couple, David and Norah, who quickly fell madly in love, got married, and are expecting a baby. One blustery snowy night in Lexington, Kentucky Norah goes into labor and David, a doctor, delivers a healthy baby boy. But, right after their son Paul is born Norah delivers another baby, this time a girl. David realizes as soon as Phoebe is born there is something wrong with her. Pained by the memory of his younger sister who died as a sickly child, David directs a nurse to take Phoebe to a home for the handicapped. The nurse, unable to leave Phoebe in such a horrible place, moves away and raises her as her own daughter. David tells his wife Norah that Phoebe died at birth. The rest of the book focuses on how this one secret destroyed a family. Arguments, betrayal, and disappointment are all caused by this secret; It slips right under the surface of every disagreement, but can't quite be touched.

I personally had a hard time with this book, and I genuinely wanted to like this book. While reading it I kept persuading myself that I would eventually want to eat this book up...well, it never happened. The story itself is sad, but also incredibly irritating. Every build up in the book ends up dissolving away without any real resolution. Not one of the characters were likable to me; they came off as wishy-washy, very one dimensional, and slightly distant. The characters never seemed to actually feel the emotions they had. I understand every character has their good and bad, but in this book the character's weaknesses noticeably outweighed their strengths. Each time I thought, I had figured out a character's personality, they would do something completely counter intuitive to their character. For example Norah in the beginning is such a consistent, calm, caring person, a little childish, who never took big risks. By the end she was running her own big business, having multiple affairs, acting completely irrational, and always thinking the worst about people. The Norah I perceived as a young adult is not the one I would have formulated later in life. The idea for this story is actually interesting, especially the time period it was set in, but somehow the author didn't carry it out very well. It could have been a fantastically original book, but I was left feeling disappointed and "ehh" about it all.

I did like the references to Lexington, Kentucky (where I went to college) and Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania (where I'm from). It was neat hearing Edwards describe places that I knew so intimately. Sadly, this is probably one of the only things that kept me interested.

Overall I wouldn't recommend this book. I just keep hoping it was all a big joke, and I accidently read the wrong, stupid version. Let me check--nope, I didn't. Dang it. Lesson learned: don't believe everything New York Times tells you.