Are a big deal.
Twice this week I've had really intense baby conversations. That's two more times than I would like, but here we are. No, I'm not pregnant, nor do I want to be pregnant anytime in the next 4+ years. I'm not a baby hater, I just don't love babies the way most girls do naturally. I like 1 or 2 certain kids; I don't love kids. Most children to me are obnoxious, dirty, and expensive.
If I don't like babies or want one, why in the world am I blogging about it?
Great question.
I'm not entirely sure either.
My first conversation was with Evan. You might assume that talking babies with my husband wouldn't be a huge deal. I mean, he kinda has to be a willing participant someday, right? Well think again. Evan is in the same anti-baby boat as I am. This was the first time we've seriously talked about it...ever. It wasn't a long talk, just around when we might want to start, and the 101 ways you can screw them up. Before we got married I might of casually asked "Hey you're ok with maybe having a few kids at some point?" and he probably grunted a "Sure, whatever." At that time that was good enough for me. But now, we're grown-ups all of a sudden. Everyone starts asking about having one from the moment after you say "I do." The minute you have a headache, craving, or pass on a glass of wine, every one of your family members eyes you suspiciously. Then, out of nowhere everyone and their mother with a dusty uterus are popping them out and lining them up like Easter eggs. Next you start to think "Should I be having kids?"
The second conversation was with a co-worker. She asked me if I thinking about having kids anytime soon. I managed to gag out a "No!" while I tried not to choke on my lunch. I was wondering if she secretly knew Evan and I had just talked about that same topic the night before. - Of course not, but it was still kind of creepy. Then we ended up talking about different baby names for the remainder of our lunch break, which is always a little fun to think about - I won't lie -.
I'm not sure why, but I can't stop thinking about it. Its not baby fever; its baby stress. Do people realize how big of a deal it is to have a child? Because I feel like these baby popper-outer's don't! A human alien child growing inside of you? Weird. Pooping out a baby. Ouch. Letting a baby suck on your boob. Awkward. Never having a solid 8 hours of sleep again? Suck.You are creating another functioning (or potentially non-functioning) member of society. I guess I'm not entirely sure of where I stand on babies, or how I feel about having them. Anytime I think about it my chest tightens and my face get crinkled. I manage to come up with completely ridiculous situations that could put me in a worry induced coma, over children who don't even exist yet. Am I completely alone with hysteria about my imaginary children? I'm not in any place right now to want a baby, and that's OK. Yeah I think about it, talk to Evan about it, but I don't have the fever yet. If it takes until I'm 40, that's OK too. I'm not feeling rushed or pressured. If I even decide to have a kid or two, which I might decide to pass, it's going to be when I'm not completely possessed with apprehension. I want to be wrapped up in excitement, love, and peace.
I'm still a little confused as to why this is all going through my head...maybe its just a girl thing that we all go through at some point. Like I told my Mom a while back, if it ends up just being Scout, Evan, and little old Me, I'll take just that. I've never been happier in my life than I am now in this moment. I'm perfectly content with my life and all the amazing people in it. So, for now, I'll keep it just like that.
Twice this week I've had really intense baby conversations. That's two more times than I would like, but here we are. No, I'm not pregnant, nor do I want to be pregnant anytime in the next 4+ years. I'm not a baby hater, I just don't love babies the way most girls do naturally. I like 1 or 2 certain kids; I don't love kids. Most children to me are obnoxious, dirty, and expensive.
If I don't like babies or want one, why in the world am I blogging about it?
Great question.
I'm not entirely sure either.
My first conversation was with Evan. You might assume that talking babies with my husband wouldn't be a huge deal. I mean, he kinda has to be a willing participant someday, right? Well think again. Evan is in the same anti-baby boat as I am. This was the first time we've seriously talked about it...ever. It wasn't a long talk, just around when we might want to start, and the 101 ways you can screw them up. Before we got married I might of casually asked "Hey you're ok with maybe having a few kids at some point?" and he probably grunted a "Sure, whatever." At that time that was good enough for me. But now, we're grown-ups all of a sudden. Everyone starts asking about having one from the moment after you say "I do." The minute you have a headache, craving, or pass on a glass of wine, every one of your family members eyes you suspiciously. Then, out of nowhere everyone and their mother with a dusty uterus are popping them out and lining them up like Easter eggs. Next you start to think "Should I be having kids?"
The second conversation was with a co-worker. She asked me if I thinking about having kids anytime soon. I managed to gag out a "No!" while I tried not to choke on my lunch. I was wondering if she secretly knew Evan and I had just talked about that same topic the night before. - Of course not, but it was still kind of creepy. Then we ended up talking about different baby names for the remainder of our lunch break, which is always a little fun to think about - I won't lie -.
I'm not sure why, but I can't stop thinking about it. Its not baby fever; its baby stress. Do people realize how big of a deal it is to have a child? Because I feel like these baby popper-outer's don't! A human alien child growing inside of you? Weird. Pooping out a baby. Ouch. Letting a baby suck on your boob. Awkward. Never having a solid 8 hours of sleep again? Suck.You are creating another functioning (or potentially non-functioning) member of society. I guess I'm not entirely sure of where I stand on babies, or how I feel about having them. Anytime I think about it my chest tightens and my face get crinkled. I manage to come up with completely ridiculous situations that could put me in a worry induced coma, over children who don't even exist yet. Am I completely alone with hysteria about my imaginary children? I'm not in any place right now to want a baby, and that's OK. Yeah I think about it, talk to Evan about it, but I don't have the fever yet. If it takes until I'm 40, that's OK too. I'm not feeling rushed or pressured. If I even decide to have a kid or two, which I might decide to pass, it's going to be when I'm not completely possessed with apprehension. I want to be wrapped up in excitement, love, and peace.
I'm still a little confused as to why this is all going through my head...maybe its just a girl thing that we all go through at some point. Like I told my Mom a while back, if it ends up just being Scout, Evan, and little old Me, I'll take just that. I've never been happier in my life than I am now in this moment. I'm perfectly content with my life and all the amazing people in it. So, for now, I'll keep it just like that.
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