I'm seriously, completely over you. A number of you have been in my life for entirely too long, and frankly its half my fault for not kicking you to the curb sooner. I'm putting my foot down from now on. I can be nice, giving, and helpful, but that doesn't mean you take advantage of people like me. You will never again make me feel guilty or obligated to cover you, give you money, host you, or help you.
Dear Facebook,
Stop telling me I have a message, when I indeed do not. I get overly excited about someone sending me a private message, only to have my hopes crushed.
Dear Good Friends,
Thanks for everything. I really don't know what I would do without you. Thank you for forgiving me when I'm wrong, loving me when I'm being stubborn, and understanding when I never return your call or text message. I'm still really bad at that.
Dear Scout, If you shred a cardboard box, please have the consideration to clean it up. I know you're totally adorable, but I draw the line at slimy, soggy, cardboard.
Dear Summer, Chill the heck out...literately.
Dear the new Batman movie, You were pretty good, but not as good as the Dark Knight.
Dear Life, How is it possible to feel overwhelmingly blessed, grateful, and happy, yet completely annoyed, disheartened, and plain crazy all at the same time. I don't even know what my brain is doing most of the time this week. I need to get a grip. Or chocolate. For now I'll go with chocolate.
Dear Evan, You're the best husband ever. I know some people might think they have the best husband, but really, they're very wrong. Even when I'm acting irrational, you go along with me like I'm acting normal. Sometimes its nice to have someone let them be crazy for just a few minutes. I miss you so much all the time, especially because there is a huge lack of coffee in our mugs, boot dirt in my carpet, and boy clothes in the washer.
Dear Landlord, The tree that fell in my front yard in JUNE is still there. Just in case you haven't checked your calender its almost August, and my yard is starting to look like jungle. I've called and asked you nice twice. I don't want to be mean and annoying. Just get it out of here!
Dear Army, You know exactly what I'm going to ask you. Stop making me bother you. I have a feeling this is going to continue for another 4-5 months.
Dear YouTube,
Thank you for the thousands of mindless videos about kittens and puppies. Most importantly thank you for music, since I'm too cheap to buy it myself.
Fall is probably my favorite time of year. Not just because of the crisp air, apple cider, or Halloween, but because I love boots...and scarves...and mustard yellow...and, well need I go on? So it might be July, but I'm already looking forward to all of the pretty things to wear. I can dream, right? If some of you are feeling really generous, or missed my birthday, feel free to send any of these items my way.
Besides being able to drink out of the milk carton without fear, they'res a myriad of other things that one can do when one's husband is deployed. Like...eating sandwiches for every meal of the day, having a laundry pile in every room, or not wearing pants (so I might do this when he's home...).
^^^
Ok, I typed that spiel first and then found this video...I seriously couldn't stop laughing, its so sad but true!
"Things that seem normal when you live alone"
So I'm married, but still living the semi-single life. I live alone, cook for one, and have all the responsibilities of taking care of house stuff by myself. I have girls nights, decorate the house without fear of manly disapproval over ruffles or glitter, and most importantly I am responsible for eating the whole batch of brownies by myself (rough life). Its a weird limbo to be in when your husband is deployed. You have to be independent, but still mentally work as though you are on a team. Its so easy to become negative whenever your husband is gone, and many people wouldn't fault you on that, but just today I've realized a lot of positive things about being on vacation from my husband. When I say "vacation" sometimes it can seem like being at the beach, but getting attacked by seagulls the whole time you're there. (Insert live-alone British accent) I say there, you're being quite negative aren't you! Fear not love, your darling will return soon!
I apologize for that. Moving on...
1. First off I'm becoming a better person for my husband. We all have our bad habits, and when we get married these bad habits usually come to the surface pretty quickly, not to mention they can get ugly fast. Little things like not putting the toilet seat down, leaving your finger clippings on the coffee table, or just being plain messy can make it hard to live with someone. For all you neat, organized people out there, sometimes us messy people just don't want to hear you yack in our ear about doing things your way. As you all know, I'm one of those messy people that's constantly doesn't always, keep things tidy consistently. A good thing about my husband being gone? I can work on getting better without constantly feeling like a failure. Evan knows what I suck at, and he knows I suck at keeping dishes out of the sink. If I let a pile stack up he will do them without a single complaint, just because he knows I need help in this department, and because he loves me. If Evan was here, I know every time he saw the sink full of dishes it would bug him, and I would beat myself up for not just putting them in the dishwasher. I hate it that I'm messy. I hate it that I can't seem to get my clothes put away. These seemingly simple tasks just don't work out naturally for me, and it really bothers me (and Evan). Surprisingly I'm slowly getting better. I'm consciously striving to pick up as I go around the house. With Evan not here, he doesn't have to put up with the 6 months of me trying to get it right! By the time he gets home I'll have mastered it, without a single clean-up-your-crap argument! Its a beautiful thing.
2. We all know the saying "Distance makes the heart grow fonder." Its a total cliche, but until you've been apart from your sweetie, you really don't know how true this is. Every minute we are apart makes me appreciate the time when we are together. Military life is a constant wake up call to not take time together for granted. I think more American families could use a dose of this. On a daily basis I am reminded how blessed I am to be an American, and thank God for everyday that Evan and I do have together.
3. I have a lot more "me" time. Getting married means much of your focus goes toward your spouse. Its not a bag thing, I'm just being a realist here. All you married people knew what you were getting yourself into! When you live together its hard to get away from each other. I mean that is the best way possible of course.When you live in the same house, you both are always gravitating to wherever the other one is, even if you don't realize it. You check in on each other just to see what the other one is doing. If I've been in the bathroom longer than normal, 9 times out of 10 I'll see the door creek open and Evan ask what I'm doing. Plucking my brows to perfection, duh! If Evans been upstairs in his office, I'll go up and sit on the couch just because. Having all this time to myself I've done a few things just for me. Making time for a 1 hour workout a day, watching Sister Wives without hearing a single complaint, and traveling around to spend one on one girl time with my old friends are just a few of the me things I am free to do. For example, I got to visit my best friends Krysti and Katie for a whole week this summer, and spent 2 months with my family in Pennsylvania. I would have never had the opportunity to do that if Evan had been home because I would have been busy being a wife!
If I could snap my fingers and teleport Evan here, I would do it in a heartbeat; Unfortunately I can't. But what I can do is appreciate all of the good things that comes with deployments, then find a way to suck it up and deal with the bad things. I think deployments are a lot like having a baby. For 9 months (or more) you worry, ache, and generally feel uncomfortable. At the same time you feel proud, forming and protecting something that truly matters. Then, you go through hours of pain, labor, and maybe even death. Once the baby is born however, none of the other awful stuff matters. That's exactly what deployments are like. You are proud of your husband for protecting our freedoms, but us wives worry our butts off, we hate having our men away. But, the minutes their boots touch home and we get to grab them, that crazy moment is worth all the late Skype calls, packing care boxes, and waking up with a heart attack because you are absolutely sure there is someone in the house. Oh these husbands...what we do for them!
You can thank my husband for bluntly telling me what everyone has been thinking. So I might have been dragging my feet a little bit, but hey, this is why I need Evan in my life. I love it that he says this kind of stuff to me.
This land is your land, this land is my land
From California, to the New York Island
From the redwood forest, to the gulf stream waters
This land was made for you and me
As I was walking a ribbon of highway
I saw above me an endless skyway
I saw below me a golden valley
This land was made for you and me
Chorus
I've roamed and rambled and I've followed my footsteps
To the sparkling sands of her diamond deserts
And all around me a voice was sounding
This land was made for you and me
Chorus
The sun comes shining as I was strolling
The wheat fields waving and the dust clouds rolling
The fog was lifting a voice come chanting
This land was made for you and me
Chorus
As I was walkin' - I saw a sign there
And that sign said - no tress passin'
But on the other side .... it didn't say nothin!
Now that side was made for you and me!
Chorus
In the squares of the city - In the shadow of the steeple
Near the relief office - I see my people
And some are grumblin' and some are wonderin'
If this land's still made for you and me.
(Ok so I kind of cheated, but I didn't have my phone to take an instant picture of me, but I am wearing my Bat-Man shirt, and my hair looks gross like in this picture. Fair enough.)
Obsessing over...Ceviche. If you don't know what Ceviche is, its basically a mix of raw fish, shrimp, octopus, etc. that is marinated in lemon/lime juice and spiced with chili peppers, onion, garlic, etc. Costa Rica has some out of this world Ceviche! Basically I've been eating it everyday.
Wishing for...The United States. You don't really appreciate it until you're gone, and in a foreign country where you see exactly how lucky we as Americans are. Even the poorest Americans have infinitely more than the majority of people here.
Thinking about...nothing. I'm sorry this is such a boy answer. When I hear the word "nothing" come out of Evan's mouth when I ask what he is thinking about, it makes me want to slap a kitten. This week my brain has been running on every cell its got up there. Being in a foreign country, not understanding a word anyone is saying, makes everything, even just trying to talk simple conversation completely exhausting.
Anticipating...Getting home to see my Scouter. Yeah, he's annoying, misbehaves in public, and shreds his doggy beds like nobody's business, but dang is he cute. I can't wait to see him do power-runs when he sees me.
