The Boring But Needed Life Update

Where do I even begin?

Its been a crazy/odd/slow/fast/exciting/disappointing…just different 7 months.

Evan has successfully finished Captains Career Course here at Fort Benning, and is now doing a month long additional course before we pack up our stuff (again) and move to Fort Riley Kansas. Unfortunately Evan hasn't enjoyed either of the courses, but he's had a lot of down time to make up for it. That means we have had a lot of time to just enjoy being together, which has been amazing. Its been the first time in our 4 year marriage that we haven't had to worry about deployments, long work days, or getting called back into work on a Saturday afternoon. It has been a nice change of pace.

Since quitting my job at our last post, I've been a stay at home housewife, which has been interesting. We knew we would only be here for a short period of time, so why get a job to only have to quit a few months later seemed silly. I of course had lots of ideas and goals that I wanted to accomplish while having this time off to myself. To no one's surprise, including myself, most of them haven't happened.

Things like blogging everyday, keeping my house impeccably clean, reading, researching, crafts, baking, cooking, taking pictures, and exercising…oh the sting of self disappointment. Well…not completely.

I successfully became a second shooter for a wedding while here. I was incredibly nervous, but it turned out, I ended up having a lot of fun, and a huge boost in my photography confidence. Quickly after that (in July) I shot my first wedding all by myself. It was a learning experience, but I was surprisingly calm and confident. I felt like I did a great job and now I can't wait until I can do it again. Hopefully when we move to Kansas I can do it full time. I've launched my website and I'm in the process of getting business cards made. I nervous about gaining a business base in Kansas. Sometimes I'm over the moon excited about it, and other days it seems really overwhelming and I couldn't care less what I end up doing as long as I make some money…is that awful? Or maybe I'm just lazy. I'm not sure which. It just makes me confused about what I should do after we move.

The only other successful thing is keeping my house clean…for the most part. I guess a few years ago this would have been a major accomplishment. Lately I've been trying to stay extra organize (including the inside of cupboards and drawers).

Looking back over these months, I am disappointed that I didn't accomplish more, but on the other hand, this might be the only time since I was in high school that I can sleep in until 10 and watch TV all day if I want to, so I'm not going to beat myself up too much. I'm thankful for this time off, but I'm starting to get the itch to get the move over with. I can't wait to get to Kansas. Evan and I traveled there a few weeks ago to get the lay of the land, along with finding a house. Its a beautiful state, with lots of new things to do, including decorate a new house that we bought. Yay for being grown ups!

Meredith Currently...

Obsessing over...my new hair. I finally chopped it all off, and I don't regret it at all!

This idea started last year and I finally mustered up the courage to do it. I ended up cutting about 8-10 inches off. When my hair stylist first turned me around my initial inner panic took off. "Oh my gosh, what have I done, its so short...I don't think I like it it...Don't freak out...umm...ok...I like it...ahhh...No, I love it. Wait, do I look like a boy? No, I definitely love it!" All that to say, I doubted myself for a second, but I'm so happy I did it. I finally feel like an adult. Is it weird that I had to cut all my hair off to do that? Prior to super short hair, I felt like a 19 year old that happened to be married and have a job. Probably because I was always being confused as a high school student. Now I have a whole new attitude and confidence about myself. "Heck yeah, I'm 24 and I can buy this bottle of wine and drink it like a grown-up, suckers!" ...but don't tell my mom...haha kidding. But really, this hair is the new confident start to 2014 that I needed.

 

Wishing for...a new hat. With my short hair I'm even more obsessed with hats. I especially love Bowler hats. Although I'm having a hard time finding a quality hat that isn't $300. I can't wait to wear them all summer long! I'm thinking of something like these...

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Thinking about...oh where do I even start. I have about 4 To Do lists scattered between my house and work. I can't even begin to form functional sentences about what is jumping through my head. It was a struggle to get my act together to write this. Therefore I will bullet point my thoughts below:

* A million books I want to read
* Making a meal schedule of lunches/dinners
* Photos to edit
* Things I need to clean and organize
* A certain puppies face I want to kiss
* Creative things <--- I know, only incredibly deep thoughts found here.
* House searches & moving plans
* Grocery list
* I have to pee
* Other writing drafts I have saved
* My school bag needs cleaned out

Ok well that was kind of stupid, and now I feel like I might as well be brain dead but whatever. It is what it is.

Anticipating...our move to Georgia in March. Evan will be going to Fort Benning to complete his Captain's Career Course Training which is 6 months long. I'm not exactly thrilled that we are moving to Georgia, lets just say its not my dream state to live in. My northern girl heart breaks a little more each time we move further south. I'm absolutely dreading a sweltering Georgia summer; I'm convinced I'm going to melt. But, I am excited to explore a new place and the possibility that I will close to Krysti. Next month we have to go look for a house, which will be fun. I love looking at houses! I think that will make it feel more real that we are really leaving Tennessee. When we first moved here I thought I would be indifferent when it came time to leave. Part of me is ready to move on and see the other places the Army might take us, but I am so sad to leave all the amazing friends I've made here. The Army is such a unique community where, I'm convinced, you make friends that become sisters more quickly than anywhere else. The girls here are so close to my heart; I already know they will be lifelong friends. I feel honored to have gone through a deployment with them, and I couldn't have survived without their company. Lastly, Tennesee the place where Evan and I had our first home together, which is especially sweet to me. We are taking our  time and enjoying every minute we have left here, as eager as we are to "see whats next."

2014

This is what I want my 2014 to look like.

1. Be more creative.

I felt at one time, not so long ago, I had so many creative ideas leaking out of my body that I didn't know what to do with them all. Sometimes I blurted them out here, sometimes I took pictures, and sometimes I just read a really good book and dreamt up a hundred new endings. Now I feel grey and dull. I couldn't come up with a single semi-interesting idea right now if I had to. I absolutely hate feeling this way. Life isn't meant to be lived in black and white. I'm on the treadmill of life, rushing along each day until I can quit my job or get my floors scrubbed. Really I'm just being lazy because its a lot easier to sit on the couch every evening, mindlessly watching a TV show, than to force myself out of this funk and create something. But here I sit, publicly declaring a more creative Meredith for 2014.

2. Be a better encourager.

Many, many times throughout my days last year I had moments where I wanted to compliment a stranger or text someone a few words of encouragement, but I didn't. It just felt weird and awkward; instead I stayed quiet. A short, simple card with a few positive words can literately change someones entire week, and I want to be the person that does that for people on a consistent basis. The worst thing that could happen is I might come off as a little strange, (which probably happens regularly normally) so I'm ok with it.

3. Build some muscle.

Now that I have better self control over making healthier eating choices, I feel like its time I incorporate building some muscle. Before I could have never done both endeavors at once. I walk Scout almost a mile everyday, granted its just a stroll, but its still something. But, the last time I carried in groceries I felt like Gumby. I felt embarrassed that I was struggling to carry food 10 steps from my car into the house. Basically it comes down to knowing its time.    

Overall, I'm super excited for this year. Last year my main goal was to be better organized. I can truly say that I have completely accomplished this goal, and it feels great! My house is consistently clean and organized. Look in any drawer in my house, I dare you! Believe it or not you will not find clutter. My hamper isn't overflowing and my clothes are put away. It gives me a whole new confidence into knowing that I can indeed reach goals I set. Along with setting new goals, there are so many adventures in store for Evan and I! We will be moving not once, but twice this year. Once to Georgia for 6 months, and then to another unknown destination, which is all part of the excitement for us. Maybe Evan will stay in the Army, maybe he won't. Maybe I'll figure out what I want to be when I grow up. Maybe we will live in Germany, Alaska, or Colorado. There are so many "maybes," but I'm more excited for this year to work on changing myself for the better. Its not a year where I'm going to be counting down the days until a deployment comes, or will end. I'm not focused on school, applying for jobs, or fixing my house. I'm so happy that I can take these next 6 months and literately focus on making me the best version of me possible. Here is to 2014! Lets do this!  

Simple Monday

So I kind of felt like a really lame daughter this year because I didn't get my mom anything for Mother's Day; just a phone call and a chat about the usual. Does this make me a bad daughter? In defense, I didn't find anything that my mom would actually want. And I can't use the usual copout of flowers because she doesn't like them. But in honor of my Mom I found this, because if we're being honest, I can never find any of my crap. Maybe next year I'll do better...

I found this next gem on Pinterest. 

Oh the hours of life-sucking goodness I can find on there.

For those sad, sad souls who might not know who this is, this is a real man. 

Clark Gable. 

"Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn." 

Gone With the Wind ring any bells?

I just thought he looked so dashing here. Not to mention I can't express how much I love the name Clark. If I ever change my mind and have a kid, Clark would definitely be in the running.

Last but not least, another dashing man in my life. Scouter. 

 I've been actively trying to take more pictures. Scout unfortunately is the usual model, but recently I did a newborn session and a few quick shots of a new friend. I'll post them later this week. Now that a handful of people from work found out I take pictures, I've received a lot of compliments which I'm trying to accept with confidence. Which is hard, but I'm forcing myself to push past the feeling of insecurity into something bigger and better! 

Know Your Place

The past few weeks at work have increasingly become less and less tolerable. Yeah kids can be jerks. They can act pretty entitled, expecting A's for C- work. But, they usually aren't the worst of it, I mean lets be honest, I had my ass moments in high school too. The worst ones are the so-called adults. Teachers constantly act like they know more than anyone on the face of the planet. Yes, please talk to me like I am 4 years old because I'm "just an aide" and you have a big fancy degree: which believe it or not I also have if you would actually take a minute to talk to me, instead of acting like you are placing an order at McDonald's drive-through. It blows my mind how incredibly self-centered, thoughtless, and rude people are. What is happening to being an adult, or better yet, simply having some manners? Look at me in my damn eyes when you talk. Please. Thank-you. You're welcome. Such simple words...rotting away in the dictionary. Maybe hold a door for someone with full hands instead of being so absorbed on whatever your pathetic little mind is focused on. Open your eyes to people around you. I get it. People have bad days. But having a bad day, doesn't ever entitle you to be rude to anyone, ever. Stop acting like your life is so hard, or more important than someone else's. 

You might ask: Why not give them what they deserve? Tell them exactly what's on your mind! Don't help them again, or simply be rude in return! The fact is, I can't do that. Why? Because I know my place. My parents raised me with some manners, which includes knowing my place. People might think it as being meek and mild or a push-over, and yes, it can seem that way, but more often than not its simply shutting your mouth and being an adult with manners.

Instead of rushing to cut that one person in line, flicking off that driver, or acting like the entitled big man (or woman) on campus that you think you are; Be thankful you are healthy enough to stand in line, be blessed enough to own a car, or be alive to breathe fresh air, see the sun shine, and give others hope that humanity still has some polite people left in the world. 

Insecure Elephants All in a Room

Listen, I'm going to get real honest real fast.

I'm really insecure.

I am absolutely terrified of failing. Do you ever remember having to show your parents an F that you got on a test, or worse, your report card? That feeling of terror, dread, and disappointment all seasoned with a pinch of cynicism...I'm constantly feeling as though I'm standing in the middle of The Arc of de Triomphe paralyzed. Any avenue could take me anywhere in Paris, but I'm too afraid to take the risk of crossing the street to get anywhere.

The funny thing is, I'm not really scared of letting Evan down, my family, or my friends; I'm lucky enough to have such amazing people in my life, that if I lit my farts on fire for a living, they probably would think I'm still pretty awesome. Letting myself down is another thing.

I love taking pictures. Especially meaningful pictures (duh).Yeah I've taken engagement pictures, kid's pictures, and some senior portraits, but my favorite pictures and the stolen moments. The kind where I'm floating around a party and no one seems to notice me. There isn't a demand for happy families, styled hair, or the perfect shot. I'm in love for every minute of it: until I feel the pressure. As soon as I feel that pressure of getting a perfect shot breathing on my neck: I panic. I overexpose, I underexpose, I cut off heads, and frankly act like I have no clue as to what I'm doing.

I'll get home and download my pictures and hate every single one of them. If the picture I had in mind didn't turn out right I get angry, my cheeks flush, and I feel like I never want to pick up my camera again. I'm frustrated not knowing how to work my camera to get a specific shot. I dread giving pictures to people. I'll spend hours trying to edit them to satisfaction only to fail in my eyes.
Eventually I decided that if I never actually committed to being a full time photographer, and just did it for "fun" and not as a professional, I could never fail. While this is ultimately true, it currently leaves me in a constant torturous and dissatisfied state of mind. One day I'm ready to break out, fulfill my dreams and do what I love. The next day I'm retreating back into a corner, beating myself up, thinking I'm out of my mind.

Then something happened. A few weeks ago I stumbled across Christina Greve, who is a photographer and life coach. I read this article  and felt like she wrote it just for me. It completely expressed, and shot down all the bad things I believed to be true about myself, especially when it came to taking pictures. I am not a crier, but I tear up every time I read it, because deep down I know its painfully true.

Right now I'm a little embarrassed to report that I'm still standing in  the middle of The Arc of de Triomphe. But, I can feel the roots of self-doubt and insecurities slowly disentangling themselves away from me. I'm accepting that its ok to not produce high quality, picture perfect pictures right off the bat. Its going to take time, motivation, and drive to accomplish skills that I want to possess. All of those things can't happen in a day, or even a year. I took pictures of spring around here, and I guess that's a good place as any to start.      

Dew eyes

My eyes are covered with dew.

My hair is a nest for birds.

I have been conquered with the love I have for all people.

I can't say I'm going to grow up and change the world.

I can't say I'm going to do great things.

But I can tell you I will love people, and I will be overwhelmingly humbled at the chance that I have to be apart of this radically simple thing called life. 

Meredith Currently...

Do I look crazy?

Because I feel like the past several days have been crazy!

Obsessing over...getting all my Halloween decorations put up! I pulled all my stuff out of the attic, but I haven't had a chance this week to get them out of the bins. I'm determined to get it done this weekend!

Wishing for...goodness. I've been awfully contemplative lately about wanting to simply make the world a better place. I just got done reading A Million Miles in a Thousand Years by Donald Miller, and this whole week I haven't been able to stop rolling it around in my mind. People set out with grand dreams of changing the world, falling in love, doing something amazing. But the drift toward the merely acceptable happens almost without notice. Every life has a story. I want to make sure that my story is worth telling. How many people do you know truly live life? Not many. I know life can feel just plain hopeless...and hard! The economy isn't the greatest, the world is at odds, leaders are secretly scumbags, and frankly living the dream is intimidating, overwhelming, and risky. Watch out guys, because I'm going to make sure I have a good story. Mark my words. Big things are happening, I can feel it in my bones.

Thinking about...Grad School. Going back now, might be my prime opportunity. My job isn't overly stressful, so it would be really easy to work and go to school at the same time, plus the military spouse discount isn't anything to complain about...but I feel so overwhelmed just at the thought of going back to school. I use to hate school, simply because I didn't know how to study, or how to take a test. Now that I know how to do that confidently, I just need to buck up and take the plunge. I'm so afraid at making a choice, especially one that I have to be pretty committed too, that I'm stuck in the limbo of I don't know. Its not a great place to be, but I'm starting to think I should throw caution to wind and go for it. 

Anticipating...our future. (Do you feel a common theme here? haha) Now I know that's pretty general, but I'm so excited/terrified for the future. Evan and I have talking about so many different possibilities about what we want to do next. Really, we can go in any direction our hearts desire; we literately have the world at our feet and its a terrifying rush of adrenaline. At night when a crawl into bed and think about our lives, it feels like Christmas eve as a 5 year old child...I CAN'T WAIT UNTIL SANTA COMES! I get so giddy I can't sleep! Too many ideas are coming to me all at once. Stick with me, I promise my inspirational/potentially unrealistic rant is coming to an end. Conclusion: I'm so glad I have this place to write about all the things that are spilling out of my brain; if I didn't I might explode. Get ready the journey is just beginning! 

Love Me Like My Dog Does Baby

I'm sure if you listen to country music on a semi-regular basis, you will have heard this song.

I myself am a dog lover. When I was about 9, my neighbors had an outdoor dog named Zoe. Unbeknownst to them, she was my dog. I took her on walks, gave her treats, played fetch with her, and begged my parents to let me have her. The begging and groveling process for a horse, dog, hamster or anything that had furr was probably a monthly occurrence for my parents, poor souls.

After finally being married for a few months, I shipped Evan off to Afghanistan with only one rule from him: I better not have a dog when he got home. Me? Want a dog? Nooooo.

But for real.
What's up with everyone trying to ruin my life dream of owning a furry companion here?

A few weeks before Christmas my soon-to-be brother-in-law found a little puppy, half frozen, tossed in a snow bank. I immediately schemed a plan. I was all alone, poor little Army wife needing something to fill my time. Ok, really there was no plan except the old stand-by of my 9 year old self: beg and grovel. PLEASE EVAN, PLLLEEAAASSSEEE!!!! Its my life dream!!! I won't ask for anything else! I won't even buy another pair of shoes for a year! (Ha. I know, we both knew that was a lie) PLLLEEEEAAASSSSEEEE!

Like the good man my husband is, he gave in to his crazy wife's pleas.
And then laughed in my face ear, when I had to stand outside in the sub-zero winter tundra that is Pennsylvania, to potty train the piss head.

Although there have been many, many moments of (impatient) me wanting to throw Scout out the door, hoping he would run away to another family, I really don't know what I would do without the massive beast. Even when I've yelled at him when I shouldn't have, he still loves me like it never happened. He might be huge, but he has the biggest heart to match. He gets stressed out easily, but will rip any box apart at the possibility of finding a "biscuit" inside. When you talk to him, he'll cock his head and listens with careful content. Most of the time he will answer back with his two, dog-talking cents. During the week I have to practically drag him out of bed, but I can promise you, Saturday morning (on my only day to sleep in) he will be nose to nose with me, giving me his best pitiful, chocolate brown-eyed stare to please get up so he...can go back to sleep in the living room.

What if we all tried to love other people the way dogs love us? I think we can all agree Hitler wasn't the nicest kid on the playground, and was...How do you say it?...one of the worst tyrants of the 20th Century.You have to be pretty consistently awful, even before you decided to wipe out an entire race, to win that title. 
Adolf had been given a German Shepherd named "Prinz." Right after World War I, during his years of poverty, he had been forced to give the dog up. However, she managed to escape and return to him. 
If that isn't an example of a dogs wavering devotion without judgement, I don't know what is.

 Dogs don't judge us if we're overweight, gay, straight, obsessive, depressed, religious, ignorant, old, dirty, anorexic, annoying, black, white, crippled, have a third nipple, or act downright rude. So the next time you scrunch up your nose at someone, or are quick to snap back to a nasty comment, don't. Take a minute to see them through a dogs eyes. "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." - John Watson

Obligatory montage of Scout

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I bubble wrapped him and told him I was mailing him to Grandma's. He didn't think it was an awful idea.

New Halloween Costume

Napping: Exhibit A

Napping: Exhibit B

He really let me do this to him...and liked it. 

Where were you?

Where was I? 

I was sitting in the pew of my school's sanctuary. 

The only thing I remember being confused about is the Twin Towers. What were they? Oil towers? Should I know what they are? Why was it such a big deal if someone ran a plane into an oil tower? Then our teacher turned on the television. I was in 7th grade. Contrary to what most adults may think, I fully understood what was going on. I can remember, just like it was yesterday driving in the car with my family that evening. My mom said to look at the sky, because it would be the only day in my entire life where I wouldn't be able to find an airplane in the sky. 

Today at work was odd. Most of the day I was livid that all the school did in remembrance of this day was flying the flag at half-staff, just like it was just another government holiday. Many of the kids weren't old enough to associate any kind of sadness or feelings to this day. I guess I'm one of the few who were just old enough to remember everything about that day. The adults didn't mention it, like they are already trying to forget. Maybe it still hurts too much. I even had a teacher ask me what today's date was. It almost made me cry, and then snap with anger. How can you not know what today is? Maybe its because this day change my entire childhood, what was left of it, and shaped my whole future. A friend from college wrote this piece, which sums up a lot of people my age are probably feeling. 

The Monster

by: Josh Kinney

I kind of remember the night before, but it’s hard to say.

That morning came like a tidal wave, sweeping away everything we once knew and thought as safe.

I remember being glued to the television for hours, watching everything on repeat, listening to my mother crying in the other room and holding a newspaper, her eyes red and tired.

We saved all of the newspapers.

From then on The Monster had entered our lives: my life.

He would be there for years to come, causing me to look over my shoulder, judge people I shouldn’t have judged, and imagine things I would’ve never before imagined.

Every time I heard that roaring sound of a low-flying aircraft or saw some kind of embellished or paranoid behavior on a subway train, The Monster reminded me of his nasty presence, his lingering effects.

The Monster was always there.

Every now and then we would hear of one of The Monster’s plans, barely thwarted, but somehow foiled.

New laws and paranoia as well as a new wave of political propaganda swept the land.

As I grew up from a boy to a man, I’d never forget The Monster.

I lived with him, we all did.

The Monster and what he did to us was ingrained in our psyches forever.

The Monster was often a topic of conversation, his lasting mark stretching into and out of our college years.

And then one night we were warned of a great announcement.

Our elected leader had awoken us from an early night and the Internet buzzed with activity.

Immediately we were reminded of The Monster, our stomachs choked in fear, but then – relief!

An ease I only remembered from childhood and had thought I’d forgotten.

Brave men had tracked down and slaughtered The Monster responsible for our fear.

Although The Monster’s minions still lurked about the globe, for the first time in the longest time, I slept with a peace I had only known as a boy.

Today is the perfect day for us.

Its the first day that summer gave in. The air is undemanding, not oppressing. The sun is like the perfect temperature between the covers; just like the ones we would have rolled out of  this morning. The coffee pot would be on like it always is when you are here. We would have taken the top off the Jeep and hurled ourselves into to the countryside. My hair would be flying a thousand different directions, but I know you love it, so I would resist pulling it up. Every now and then I could have caught your smell as the air swirled around the open car. Your smell would brings a smile to my lips, cause lighting to flood through veins, and a weakness to knock at my knees. The baseball cap you would wear hides your eyes, but I already know they are a clear blue, as fresh as the sky we are chasing. Today we would have sung to the radio together, and picked out our farm house along the way. Or maybe today we would've just held hands, balanced on the center console, in the serenity of  us.

We would have gone to the range.

We would have been competitive. 

Our fingers would have brushed as we counted the holes in the paper circles.

We would of had fun.

We would have been together.

We wouldn't have done anything in particular.

We would have done everything.

Today would have been the perfect day for us. 

But you aren't here.

You are an impossible number of miles away from me. 

So I guess today its the perfect day for me to wish you were home.  

Letters to Evan

I just want to let you know

Love,

Meredith

Give Me a Break

Lately all of my thoughts are so boggled, I can't type anything out that makes any sense. 

Right now there are about 15 drafts in my box, in which not one of them is completed, publish worthy post. 

I think I just need a little break from this, and maybe write a few long e-mails to my husband instead. 

Talk to you in a bit. 

- Meredith

Dear Moochers,

      I'm seriously, completely over you. A number of you have been in my life for entirely too long, and frankly its half my fault for not kicking you to the curb sooner. I'm putting my foot down from now on. I can be nice, giving, and helpful, but that doesn't mean you take advantage of people like me. You will never again make me feel guilty or obligated to cover you, give you money, host you, or help you.   

Dear Facebook,

       Stop telling me I have a message, when I indeed do not. I get overly excited about someone sending me a private message, only to have my hopes crushed.

Dear Good Friends,

       Thanks for everything. I really don't know what I would do without you. Thank you for forgiving me when I'm wrong, loving me when I'm being stubborn, and understanding when I never return your call or text message. I'm still really bad at that.

Dear Scout,
       If you shred a cardboard box, please have the consideration to clean it up. I know you're totally adorable, but I draw the line at slimy, soggy, cardboard. 


Dear Summer,
      Chill the heck out...literately.


Dear the new Batman movie,
     You were pretty good, but not as good as the Dark Knight. 


Dear Life,
     How is it possible to feel overwhelmingly blessed, grateful, and happy, yet completely annoyed, disheartened, and plain crazy all at the same time. I don't even know what my brain is doing most of the time this week. I need to get a grip. Or chocolate. For now I'll go with chocolate. 


Dear Evan,
   You're the best husband ever. I know some people might think they have the best husband, but really, they're very wrong. Even when I'm acting irrational, you go along with me like I'm acting normal. Sometimes its nice to have someone let them be crazy for just a few minutes. I miss you so much all the time, especially because there is a huge lack of coffee in our mugs, boot dirt in my carpet, and boy clothes in the washer. 


Dear Landlord,
     The tree that fell in my front yard in JUNE is still there. Just in case you haven't checked your calender its almost August, and my yard is starting to look like jungle. I've called and asked you nice twice. I don't want to be mean and annoying. Just get it out of here! 


Dear Army,
     You know exactly what I'm going to ask you. Stop making me bother you. I have a feeling this is going to continue for another 4-5 months.

Dear YouTube,

      Thank you for the thousands of mindless videos about kittens and puppies. Most importantly thank you for music, since I'm too cheap to buy it myself.

October in July

Fall is probably my favorite time of year. Not just because of the crisp air, apple cider, or Halloween, but because I love boots...and scarves...and mustard yellow...and, well need I go on? So it might be July, but I'm already looking forward to all of the pretty things to wear. I can dream, right? If some of you are feeling really generous, or missed my birthday, feel free to send any of these items my way. 

Lace :)

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I'm Single & Married

Besides being able to drink out of the milk carton without fear, they'res a myriad of other things that one can do when one's husband is deployed. Like...eating sandwiches for every meal of the day, having a laundry pile in every room, or not wearing pants (so I might do this when he's home...).

^^^

Ok, I typed that spiel first and then found this video...I seriously couldn't stop laughing, its so sad but true! 

"Things that seem normal when you live alone"

So I'm married, but still living the semi-single life. I live alone, cook for one, and have all the responsibilities of taking care of house stuff by myself. I have girls nights, decorate the house without fear of manly disapproval over ruffles or glitter, and most importantly I am responsible for eating the whole batch of brownies by myself (rough life). Its a weird limbo to be in when your husband is deployed. You have to be independent, but still mentally work as though you are on a team. Its so easy to become negative whenever your husband is gone, and many people wouldn't fault you on that, but just today I've realized a lot of positive things about being on vacation from my husband. When I say "vacation" sometimes it can seem like being at the beach, but getting attacked by seagulls the whole time you're there. (Insert live-alone British accent) I say there, you're being quite negative aren't you! Fear not love, your darling will return soon!

I apologize for that. Moving on...

1. First off I'm becoming a better person for my husband. We all have our bad habits, and when we get married these bad habits usually come to the surface pretty quickly, not to mention they can get ugly fast. Little things like not putting the toilet seat down, leaving your finger clippings on the coffee table, or just being plain messy can make it hard to live with someone. For all you neat, organized people out there, sometimes us messy people just don't want to hear you yack in our ear about doing things your way. As you all know, I'm one of those messy people that's constantly doesn't always, keep things tidy consistently. A good thing about my husband being gone? I can work on getting better without constantly feeling like a failure. Evan knows what I suck at, and he knows I suck at keeping dishes out of the sink. If I let a pile stack up he will do them without a single complaint, just because he knows I need help in this department, and because he loves me. If Evan was here, I know every time he saw the sink full of dishes it would bug him, and I would beat myself up for not just putting them in the dishwasher. I hate it that I'm messy. I hate it that I can't seem to get my clothes put away. These seemingly simple tasks just don't work out naturally for me, and it really bothers me (and Evan). Surprisingly I'm slowly getting better. I'm consciously striving to pick up as I go around the house. With Evan not here, he doesn't have to put up with the 6 months of me trying to get it right! By the time he gets home I'll have mastered it, without a single clean-up-your-crap argument! Its a beautiful thing.

2. We all know the saying "Distance makes the heart grow fonder." Its a total cliche, but until you've been apart from your sweetie, you really don't know how true this is. Every minute we are apart makes me appreciate the time when we are together. Military life is a constant wake up call to not take time together for granted. I think more American families could use a dose of this. On a daily basis I am reminded how blessed I am to be an American, and thank God for everyday that Evan and I do have together.

3. I have a lot more "me" time. Getting married means much of your focus goes toward your spouse. Its not a bag thing, I'm just being a realist here. All you married people knew what you were getting yourself into! When you live together its hard to get away from each other. I mean that is the best way possible of course.When you live in the same house, you both are always gravitating to wherever the other one is, even if you don't realize it. You check in on each other just to see what the other one is doing. If I've been in the bathroom longer than normal, 9 times out of 10 I'll see the door creek open and Evan ask what I'm doing. Plucking my brows to perfection, duh! If Evans been upstairs in his office, I'll go up and sit on the couch just because. Having all this time to myself I've done a few things just for me. Making time for a 1 hour workout a day, watching Sister Wives without hearing a single complaint, and traveling around to spend one on one girl time with my old friends are just a few of the me things I am free to do. For example, I got to visit my best friends Krysti and Katie for a whole week this summer, and spent 2 months with my family in Pennsylvania. I would have never had the opportunity to do that if Evan had been home because I would have been busy being a wife! 

If I could snap my fingers and teleport Evan here, I would do it in a heartbeat; Unfortunately I can't. But what I can do is appreciate all of the good things that comes with deployments, then find a way to suck it up and deal with the bad things. I think deployments are a lot like having a baby. For 9 months (or more) you worry, ache, and generally feel uncomfortable. At the same time you feel proud, forming and protecting something that truly matters. Then, you go through hours of pain, labor, and maybe even death. Once the baby is born however, none of the other awful stuff matters. That's exactly what deployments are like. You are proud of your husband for protecting our freedoms, but us wives worry our butts off, we hate having our men away. But, the minutes their boots touch home and we get to grab them, that crazy moment is worth all the late Skype calls, packing care boxes, and waking up with a heart attack because you are absolutely sure there is someone in the house. Oh these husbands...what we do for them!

Guilty as Charged

You can thank my husband for bluntly telling me what everyone has been thinking. So I might have been dragging my feet a little bit, but hey, this is why I need Evan in my life. I love it that he says this kind of stuff to me. 

Funny. 

Blunt, but funny. 

It will happen soon, don't worry. 

God Bless America

This land is your land, this land is my land
From California, to the New York Island
From the redwood forest, to the gulf stream waters
This land was made for you and me

As I was walking a ribbon of highway
I saw above me an endless skyway
I saw below me a golden valley
This land was made for you and me

Chorus

I've roamed and rambled and I've followed my footsteps
To the sparkling sands of her diamond deserts
And all around me a voice was sounding
This land was made for you and me

Chorus

The sun comes shining as I was strolling
The wheat fields waving and the dust clouds rolling
The fog was lifting a voice come chanting
This land was made for you and me

Chorus

As I was walkin'  -  I saw a sign there
And that sign said - no tress passin'
But on the other side  .... it didn't say nothin!
Now that side was made for you and me!

Chorus

In the squares of the city - In the shadow of the steeple
Near the relief office - I see my people
And some are grumblin' and some are wonderin'
If this land's still made for you and me.

Meredith Currently...

(Ok so I kind of cheated, but I didn't have my phone to take an instant picture of me, but I am wearing my Bat-Man shirt, and my hair looks gross like in this picture. Fair enough.)

Obsessing over...Ceviche. If you don't know what Ceviche is, its basically a mix of raw fish, shrimp, octopus, etc. that is marinated in lemon/lime juice and spiced with chili peppers, onion, garlic, etc. Costa Rica has some out of this world Ceviche! Basically I've been eating it everyday.

Wishing for...The United States. You don't really appreciate it until you're gone, and in a foreign country where you see exactly how lucky we as Americans are. Even the poorest Americans have infinitely more than the majority of people here. 

Thinking about...nothing. I'm sorry this is such a boy answer. When I hear the word "nothing" come out of Evan's mouth when I ask what he is thinking about, it makes me want to slap a kitten. This week my brain has been running on every cell its got up there. Being in a foreign country, not understanding a word anyone is saying, makes everything, even just trying to talk simple conversation completely exhausting. 

Anticipating...Getting home to see my Scouter. Yeah, he's annoying, misbehaves in public, and shreds his doggy beds like nobody's business, but dang is he cute. I can't wait to see him do power-runs when he sees me. 

Holla! Amigos! Part 1

So I've been in Costa Rica this past week fulfilling my Cross-Cultural requirement for Asbury. Asbury you say? Didn't you graduate a year and a half ago? ...Yes, well...almost. This stupid Cross-Cultural requirement has been haunting me like Great Caesar's Ghost. Basically I was required to pay lots of money to go outside the country to "experience" another culture. I might be a tiny bit bitter, but we won't go into that. Every trip that came along, either fell through, or was at the wrong time. Luckily, my dad let me tag along with him on a business trip. His company has a plant/branch in Costa Rica that he visits a few times a year. I might have spent a lot of time by the hotel pool, which is totally Cross-Cultural by the way, but I did have a chance to do a few cultural things.

I stayed with my friend's Rob, Yami, and their 2 girls Natalie and Heidi. Rob is from the states, and works with my dad for the plant in Costa Rica. He and Yami graciously offered their home to me for a few days. Yami and the girls showed me around their beautiful town, which included a trip to a volcano, their coffee farm, an oil painting lesson from Yami, and lots of beautiful countryside.

Small view of town

- Side story -
When Rob and Yami first met they couldn't talk. Rob didn't speak a word of Spanish and Yami didn't know a word of English. I asked Yami how they communicated and she slyly laughed and then made kissy noises.

 The Volcano

(left to right)
Natalie, Yami, and Heidi

By the end of my stay I wanted to stuff these two into my suitcase and illegally take them home with me stay for forever. Her girls are simply fun, we had a great time together. Yami and I found a common love of tea, painting, and loving on her girls. I'll post more pictures and write more about our adventures later!

A few things that I've learned about Costa Rica so far:

* Traffic lights, signs, and rules are simply suggestions not regulations.

* Motorbikes have a special lane.
Which would be in-between you, and the car next to you. 
Like this:

* Costa Ricans' always back into a parking spot, and can parallel park like nobody's business. Please come teach Americans your parking skillz asap.

* I hopelessly suck at understanding Spanish. I'm mentally exhausted everyday from just trying to understand what the heck people are saying. Hence why this post might be anywhere from boring, vague, or confusing.

* Loose fitting clothing doesn't exist. The tighter the better.


* Ceviche is amazing.

via

* You have to beg for your check at dinner. They just aren't in any hurry, and don't think you need to be either!

* There are no street signs. All directions are given in landmarks. (Women's paradise!)

* Dad and I rented a car. When we picked it up they explained to us that they would be moving the car rental location Wednesday. We called to get directions (that in itself is funny) only to tell us that they hadn't moved yet, but would for sure be moving the next day. Needless to say, we have called everyday only to hear the same thing, they would for sure be moving the next day. It is now Saturday night and they stilled haven't "officially" moved. All this to say, they don't get in a hurry.

* It's completely normal, and OK to stop in the middle of the road, shut the car off, get out, and take a picture.

Buenos Notches!