Sometimes you finally realize you're a grown up.
I think that finally happened to me after my visit at Asbury a few weeks ago. I was giddy with excitement to travel north to Lexington, KY for weekend back at college. I've had tickets for months to see Taylor Swift and all my old college friends, and now the weekend had finally arrived! From the first moment I visited Asbury University, before I even decided to go there, I loved it. Being a horse lover and owner throughout middle and high school only fueled my love for Lexington. Almost anywhere you drive you see beautiful bluegrass enclosed by never-ending fence lines. Horses. Oh goodness the horses make me weak at the knees. Everywhere you look there are hundred-thousand dollar horses. These hundred-thousand dollar horses can't just live in any old barn, no-way! The stables in the area are nicer than most houses! I wish I was joking.
Being able to go back for a weekend was a dream come true. Honestly, I've missed college life so much, alot more than I thought I would. Adjusting to married life has been hard. (Don't get me wrong I love it!) But there are alot of things I didn't think I would even notice, but now I do. Sometimes I missed living in a dorm with all my best friends just a door away. I missed my roommate. I missed going to classes (shocker I know). I missed chapel. I missed going on late night adventures. I missed laughing so hard I thought I was going to pee my pants. Asbury became home, and I desperately missed it. I think it's been harder because I've moved to place where I don't know the area, I don't know any people, and my family and friends are so far away.
A part of me still yearned to be back to school and to live the college life I once had, even after I got married. But after my weekend visit, I think I finally scratched the itch that had been nagging me for so long. That weekend I stayed up late talking with Krysti, ate out, went shopping at my favorite vintage store, stopped a Whole Foods, spent an afternoon with Katie, meet David Nail, sang my heart out with Taylor Swift, and before I knew it I was back in the car driving back to Nashville. A moment of overwhelming peace was surrounding me on my drive back home to my husband. I was no longer a college student. Yeah, the weekend was fantastic, but I don't belong there anymore. Nobody on campus was calling my name when I walked around. My old room was no longer mine. The study rooms and desks were not filled with the Fearless people I know and love. It was strange and sad, but also a really great feeling that I'm at a different part of my life now. And most importantly I'm completely ok with where I'm at.
"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven"