If Dogs Could Text...

I seriously couldn't stop laughing.

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Picking the Right Cookie

This past Saturday I saw The Five-Year Engagement. I had been wanting to see it for awhile now, since it recieved a higher-than-normal rating on Rotten Tomatoes of a 63%. Let me be clear by saying, I don't normally want to see chick-flicks in the first place, so this was out of character for me. They rank somewhere on my list right around Anime. Maybe I should have listened to my gut instinct to stay away from the sappy, funny romance, because as I sit here, I'm still trying to figure out how it had so many positive reviews. I guess I need to get a different sense of humor, because the comedy just didn't rub me the right way. And let's be honest, I'm kinda of bitter about romance movies in the first place...if you can't tell. To give you a background of the story, Violet and Tom are in love. (Duh) Tom proposes to Violet, and they move to Wisconsin because Violet was offered her dream job there. They try to plan their wedding in vain, as one thing after another comes up. Unfortunetly, Tom has to give up his dreams of running his own restaurant to support Violet. Throughout the story Tom becomes hopelessly miserable, and they begin to drift apart. For much of the movie their relationship hangs in the balance. As much as I hated how long it was, combined with the on-again, off-again relationship of the characters, there was one scene of the movie that really stuck out to me.

 The main character Violet and her sister, are having a heart to heart while they play with her sister's 2 small children. They begin to talk in "Cookie Monster" and "Elmo" voices to not only entertain the kids, but to talk in adult code in front of them. Violet is so confused and undecided as to whether she wants to marry Tom, or if there are better fish in the sea. Violet is so wrapped up in finding the perfect one that she's having a hard time committing and accepting anyone who isn't absolutely flawless. Violet's sister become increasingly frustrated and blurts out:

"Elmo thinks there is no right cookie. You just have to pick one and take a bite!"

Her sister becomes baffled for a good reason, she is in a completely different situation than her sister. She ended up marrying Tom's brother, who in kind terms, is a loser. They had a one night stand that resulted in her sister getting pregnant. Violet's sister married Tom's brother mainly because she was pregnant. If that wouldn't had happened, they would have quickly gone their separate ways and never saw each other again. Her sister is obviously living a life that she never saw herself having. She's not bitter or unhappy with how her life turned, honestly she couldn't imagine anything better, she is madly in love with her husband and kids. Seeing her sister agonize over a perfectly great guy makes her snap and talk some sense into Violet. She quickly lets Violet know that there isn't such a thing as the perfect cookie, because she had experienced first hand how life works. You work with what you have, even if it isn't perfect.

Not to make cookies a deep analogy, but I look at it this way. We all start life out with a full box of cookies. There are all types of cookies out there with all sorts of flavors. Certain flavors attract us more than others. I personally like all chocolate flavors. I've always been pretty selective when it comes to cookies; I only sampled one or two kids of cookies before deciding what kind I wanted. I figured why waste your time sampling peanut butter cookies, when I knew I wanted chocolate! At some point I met a chocolate cookie that I thought I could stick with everyday, so I took a bite and bought the box. If you're smart, you'll know not to keep a checklist of every single ingredient you want in a cookie, because you probably won't ever find it. You'll just end up picking apart every cookie you try. Pick a main flavor and take it with or without nuts as a compromise. I'm not saying buy the first bag of cookies you think would be OK. Lets be honest, who wants to eat a so-so cookie everyday? Not this girl. Its knowing that there are good parts about cookies, like sugar, and bad parts, like calories. Remember to be selective about who gets try your cookies. The more people we let sample our cookies, the less we will have to fill our cookie jar in the end. Give them a smell, not a bite. I can't promise eating same the same cookie everyday won't get stale or repetitive. You have to be creative. Sometimes you have to make an ice cream sandwich out of your cookies, or dunk it in chocolate milk instead of plain old white, even then, sometimes slathering cookies in hot fudge is totally called for. Its more about the fact that you have a special one-of-a-kind cookie all to yourself that you don't have to share with anyone.

 In the end its all about the choices you choose to make, as with everything in life. I made a choice picking Evan, and I choose to love him unconditionally everyday, despite his lack of perfect ingredients sometimes. For all I know, there could be another guy out there who I would get along with better or love more easily, but the facts are: there will never be a perfect cookie, on this physical earth, that fully satisfies me in every possible aspect of my life. Returning my cookies for new ones will only result in the same vicious cycle of used, half-eaten, broken cookies. In my book I have a strict no return policy when it comes to cookies! So stop obsessing over finding the perfect cookie! Just pick one and take a bite!

How to talk yourself out of chocolate cake.

Yesterday since it was Easter, I wanted to do something to make the day feel special. 

Since I didn't color Easter eggs, set out my bunny candy bowl, or go to church, (oops) I figured I would make a cake. Dessert is something hard to come by here...if we do have dessert we normally go out or make it specifically to take somewhere and give it away so it doesn't end up sitting at our house with me eating it. I can't be left alone with dessert. I have a problem, and I have no intention of fixing it. I cannot be left to my own devices when it comes to dessert, especially any form of chocolate dessert. Evan is usually my sponsor of sorts, reminding me when I get that obsessive look in my eye to "Step away from the sweets!" 

I made a Chocolate Mayo Cake from my cookbook: The Joy of Cooking. It sounds absolutely disgusting, but I knew the mayo would be like putting scour cream into a cake; all it does is make is super moist and delicious. I was completely out of milk, and this recipe didn't call for it which was a bonus. The cake itself turned out great! The texture is like a cake mix, very soft and fluffy. The chocolate flavor is excellent. I like the melted chocolate instead of a cocoa, it makes for a better chocolate flavor. Note to inexperienced bakers like myself: Do not add anything when you're melting chocolate chips in the microwave (like butter). All it does is turn the chocolate into a clumpy, chalk mess. Try #2 on melting chocolate worked much better. Next time I will add some salt, the recipe doesn't call for it, but it think it would make it perfect. 

As the cakes were cooling on the counter, my phone rang in the living room. It was Evan calling to wish me a Happy Easter. I walked out of the kitchen for .2145 seconds to get it. When I returned someone sampled my cake. I'm sure you can figure out who.

I know I shouldn't get mad, but I did. This week Scout has been asking to be grounded. Exasperated I started wailing "Scout! Come on!" He just stood there and looked completely baffled. He is kind of the Houdini of playing dumb. Annoyed, but determined I continued on.

Things were a slippery slope from here. 

My icing was a complete failure. If you can't tell from the picture it looks like Little Foot and his dinosoar friends walked through my icing. There were puddles of liquid in the bottom...I still can't figure out what I did wrong. The thing that makes me mad about it is the recipe called to 2 whole sticks of butter...2 sticks of organic butter ruined. I hate things being wasted, not to mention the cost of organic butter...ugh I'll get over it, it just makes my wallet let out a slow whine when it opens. It tasted ok, but the texture was awful and ruined any form of good flavor it had. I couldn't make more icing because I was out of powered sugar. 

So I ended up with a half eaten, dog slobbered cake, with no icing. Its almost impossible for me to cook anything without using every bowl, spoon, and pan in my whole house, so by the time I cleaned up the severe mess, I didn't even want to look at the stupid chocolate cake. I took one bite; That ladies and gentleman is how you talk yourself out of chocolate cake. 

Nonna Shirley

Yesterday Non passed away in her sleep. 

Mom said she knew everyone around her up until the very end, and kept telling everyone how much she loved them and appreciated them taking care of her. She was so sweet, kind, and generous. It's really sad to lose Non, especially because we were pretty close, but I'm beyond thrilled to know that she didn't suffer. It's bittersweet. She was surrounded by everyone she loved, and it was a quick and painless. I never want to see anyone go through what Uncle Don had to suffer with for months on end.

I will miss her so much. She was such a strong lady. At 3 she lost her mom, and grew up like Cinderella (not joking) with her step-mom. After she married Pap-Jim they had 7 babies and she walked to work everyday. Believe it or not she's never had a drivers license. They never had much money, but she always managed. When I was born Mom named me Meredith (duh) and profusely stated there would be no nicknames. Not Mere, Mary, Mere-Bear, it's Meredith. Non never gave two shits (her own words) about what Mom said and has been the only one allowed to call me by her nickname for me - Meremiss.When I was a baby they divorced, and she moved right down the street from us, which was awesome. I would have sleepovers there and she always made amazing food. She could make one hell of a baked mac-n-cheese, and her specialty was soup. Any soup, you name it, she could make the best! She could never make a little bit, only amounts large enough to feed an army was acceptable! Eventually she met Dan. He was her everything, her gentlemen, and her best friend. They got married; I was her flower girl. Even when Dan eventually succomed to Alzheimer's she stuck with him until the end. They were so happy together, and Non always kept a picture of him in her wallet that she kissed. She made sure he was bathed, fed, happy, and loved on him everyday. The thought of sending him to a nursing home was out of the question, and gladly took on the burden of keeping him home. 

She was always getting people's names wrong, and making up words. Just in the last couple of years she managed to call Evan, Evan instead of Ethan. Example: she was always ordering stuff from "Jim Beam" little did she know she meant to say LL. Bean...strangers thought she was an alcoholic by accident. Anytime you went to her house the TV or radio was always blaring with a pot of coffee on. As soon as you walked in the house she always tried to feed you. Her cat's name is appropriately name GD, which everyone found offensive at first. It really stands for George Dan, but Non probably meant it in the bad way too, haha. "Life is better on the Porch" was her life motto. She loved to swing on the porch visiting and feeding whoever stopped by. I could say another thousand funny things that she's said, and another two thousand times she was giving to others.

I told Mom as soon as she got a glimpse of Dan and her mom in heaven, she would be outta here, no looking back! I guess I was right...Sunday she was her normal spunky self and come Wednesday morning she was out of here! We will all miss her so much. But, we'll all see her again someday on the other side! I can't wait! 

Thrifty Thursday

OK, so I have a new weekly post I want to try to do: Thrifty Thursday. 

I was going to do Tightwad Tuesday, but that sounded a little negative (but funny, haha). Loving the art of thriftiness isn't always about being a tightwad, as some people would assume; it's about getting something unique, well-made, and having fun without selling off your first born child! It's a win-win situation. As some of you know I furnished my entire house from used/junk/thirfted/antique/whatever-you-call-it goods. Most of my wardrobe is also lightly used clothing from second hand shops. Evan refers to it as "junk" but that's his opinion...I'm pretty sure he should be thanking me for being frivolous and freaking awesome....but that's my opinion. About 75% of the stuff in my house my husband would have thought was "dirty" and "old." (Luckily he was deployed, therefore he didn't really have a say into the matter -insert coy smile-) 

I've got my act together and have slowly, but surly, have been making our house a home. Here's a tiny corner into my house that's home.

Table & chairs: Non's (grandma's) aka free // Curtains: antique shop .50 cents // Fruit bowl: antique shop $6 // Salt & Pepper shakers: junk store $2 // Wooden Spoon & Fork gift // Table cloth: This Old Place Antiques $11 // Grand total: $19.50

The hunt of finding all these one-of-a-kind things is the fun part for me. A nice bonus of that is you save money, lots of money. The only thing I purchased new for our house was our mattress. I don't know about you, but I didn't want to take the chance of bunking with someone else's bed bugs. This weekend I'm on the hunt to find a few things for our spare bedroom and some new spring/summer clothes! I'll let you know what I find!

Anger Cleaning

This morning Evan woke up mad. Just plain mad.

He had the bright idea to do paperwork for our taxes, because that makes everyone less angry.

Ha.

He asked me to come upstairs and keep him company in his office while he worked on the paperwork. First I was in trouble for playing the same Taylor Swift song over and over again. Next he was yelling at me because I was "stealing too much Internet" and making it run slow.

What-ever.

So I pushed aside my laptop and took a nap on the couch with Scout.

Then the last straw hit him. The code he had to submit whatever paperwork he had been working on for the past hour was wrong.

He shut his computer and stormed downstairs. Dishes were being clinked together, cupboards being opened and shut, the washer filling up with water, and the sweeper being run.

After everything quieted down I stumbled down the steps, slowly coming out of my stupor to find a spotlessly clean kitchen, living room, and laundry.

A little smiled tried not to escape out of the corner of my mouth as I asked: "Feel better now?"

"Yeah" he said with a breath of relief.

It was definitely funny, but also kind of nice...now I only have to put off cleaning our bathroom and bedroom! If I do say so myself, I've done an excellent job at that this entire week.

At least Evan is a productive angry person,

Why is it when I get mad I become a irrational, chocolate craving, couch potato?

The world may never know.