Home Again, Home Again, Jiggity Jig!

Tomorrow night Evan gets home!

I'm pumped, but exhausted. I spent most of the day today ripping devil plants out of the front of our yard. I'm trying my best to make sure everything is perfect. The house is clean, the fridge is stocked, and the front yard will hopefully be competed by the time he gets in! On the way home from getting my hair cut, I bought a dozen plants to plant to make our walkway to the front door more welcoming.Was anyone else aware of how expensive plants are?? I was not until today...things that have the potential of dying...especially in my care...cost and arm and a leg! (Specifically $65 arm and/or leg...I might have gotten ripped off. But how was I  to know? I'm not usually in the plant market...um ever.) Either way, they are quite lovely, and think the walkway already looks 100x better and they aren't even planted yet!

 The house is all clean and cozy; ready for Evan! Scout is ready to have his buddy back too!

 It's finally all cleared!
Side note: I filled the bin way too full, and now it's entirely too heavy for me to move anywhere by myself.
High five to me.

My new flowers waiting to be planted. I love the colors of the purplish-green ones! The leafy smaller plants will eventually have all different colored flowers on them! (We can only hope they make it that long)

 I finally caved after hearing, no less than 5 book reports, on the Hunger Games from the 9th graders at school. I read the first book Sunday morning, and I'm currently on the 2nd book. They are good...there will be a book review soon! I've been sworn to wait to see the movie with Evan...

 I was in desperate need of a haircut, and today it finally happened. I was seriously considering getting is all chopped off -- like pixie cut chopped off. But, I really miss my long hair so I'm growing it back out, expect I'm keeping my bangs. Have I ever told you how much I love bangs? Now you know.

 New headband from Mildred & Mable's in downtown Clarksville. It's my new favorite store!

I cannot figure out for the life of me why this picture is so blurry, but whatever. If you can't tell it's sushi. The wimpy Americanized kind, but it's sushi none the less! I've never tried sushi for several reasons:

1. Kittanning Pennsylvania isn't the hot spot sushi type of town...think more all you can eat buffet style.
2. It's intimidating! Sushi has always seemed like a trendy food, that only trendy people eat.
3. Does white rice, seaweed, cucumbers, avocado, and raw fish sound appealing to eat to you??

Although none of those things sound appealing, together...oh my...together its a completely different story! I don't know why I've never tried sushi before! It was so good! I doubt I'll be able to drag Evan along, but my friend Lisa, who took me, will have a lot of fun girl nights together eating sushi while the guys are gone!

I can tell I've already gone into partial independent woman mode (which I tend to do) when Evan is gone. I hate that it happens, but in a way, it's a coping strategy for me. You have to have this mindset that you can do anything and everything that you do together, by yourself. You trick yourself into thinking it's easy, enjoyable, and empowering. It can be, but when it comes down to it, I'm part of a team. Whether I like it or not, the team part of my brain shuts off for 9-12 months. It makes things easier to adjust to when hes gone. As silly as it sounds, it's hard to shut it off and let yourself need someone else again when he gets home. When you're married each person needs that feeling of being needed. Evan needs to know that I need him to mow the lawn, change the oil, and open jars. Being the man. Even though I'm capable to doing these things, it's part of how our mouse trap maze marriage works. In the end, no matter how much you think you don't need someone, we all really do. 

A Rockin' Good Way (To Mess Around and Fall in Love)

Pleasure for your ears :)

 //Spring//

 //Protecting the fort//

 //First time making veggie couscous//

 //It was ok, I kinda wanted a burger afterwards...//

 //New dress!//

Voldemort

Spring is here. 

Spring daffodil's on our table

  This morning a grumbling thunderstorm woke me up. I crawled out of bed and grumbled along with it as I walked down the hall and into the living room to let Scout out. As I opened the door a wall of damp, sweet musty spring air floated around me into the house. It immediately changed my dark morning mood. I couldn't help but let a small smile slide over my lips, as though someone had left a sweet surprise on my doorstep. I felt a little lighter, refreshed, new, calm, and clean. On the way home from work this whole week, I've driven home in a blissful state by rolling my windows down. I picked daffodil's from my front yard to enjoy while eating dinner. After dinner on my walk with Scout, the neighborhood was buzzing for the first time. The sun was shining, the skies were blue. Kids were playing basketball and riding bikes, dads were tinkering in the garage, moms were screaming at their kids to not go so far; it was great! People were alive again! They weren't forced to stay holed up in front of the bland living room TV. The grey wash of winter has melted. Blinds of windows were pried open like rusty hinges. I saw a robin for the first time, and noticed small pale green buds dabbing each tree branch. Newborn weeds were starting to push through the cement cracks of the sidewalk. I've shrieked with excitement every evening when the sun seems to stretch out the day, by lingering just a few minutes longer. 

Spring intoxicates people like a good perfume. But seeing as I don't wear perfume, that might be a bad analogy for me to use properly. Spring intoxicates me like the smell of peeling back the sheets and climbing into a freshly made bed, or the smell of when you open a box of black tea for the first time, having a fully clean, and organized house, or Cascade. You always take a moment to inhale deeply and slowly. (Except with Cascade, promise!)

This year I want to have the spring bug. I want to become hopelessly hyper, listen to the birds chirp, and take my shoes off and walk in the cool, damp grass. It's become increasingly difficult to resist it's welcoming charm. I've tried to ignore spring this year and push it away. Because this year spring means nothing good to me.

Spring means pouring over detailed packing lists. Spring means begrudgingly spending money on unwanted boots, bags, knives, and gear. Spring brings training. Spring brings stress. Spring brings tears. Spring brings one less night together. Spring brings silent dinners and melancholy air. Spring brings the unknown. Spring brings worry. Spring brings a simmering panic. Spring means planning to not to plan. Spring means standing in a gravel parking lot alone. Spring brings duty. Spring brings war. Spring brings goodbyes.

 Each sweet songbird chirping sounds like a crow. Blooming trees are tinged with bitter flower buds. Even the soft breeze feels like it might be trying to knock me down. The good feeling of spring is being smothered by the grasp that tightens around my chest. Everyday it slowly clenches tighter and higher. This is how I feel about the "D word." It's like saying You-Know-Who's name out loud...Voldemort...Deployment...they both have the same ring to me, and general feelings of animosity, angst, and affliction.

As much as deployments suck, they don't last for forever. (Although it might seem like it sometimes) Honestly Evan and I are really good at the goodbye thing. Almost too good in my opinion. We love being together and work great together, but we aren't the kind of couple that need each other to function. This summer I'm so excited to be able to visit my family and friends all around the US. What other wife gets the opportunity to live the semi-single life again? I know this might sound like I'm being heartless, but I promise I miss him every single day that he is gone. AND I probably worry enough to poop a cow, but at some point you just have to realize its part of the job, it's going to happen. The day he steps off that plane to come home is unlike any other feeling I will ever experience. So why not just take the bad as bad, the good as great, and remember to be thankful for every single minute you have together while you can.