Spaghetti is a standard meal every week at our house.
Mainly because it's cheap.
More importantly because it's delicious.
Spaghetti night is both Evan and I's favorite. This week we spiced it up by having french bread with spiced oil (I probably could have eaten just that). We also splurged and bought a fresh block of Parmesan cheese from the fancy cheese case.
Ooh-la-la! Sorry, I forgot we're in Italy.
Fresh Parmesan cheese
Have you ever heard men are like waffles, women are like spaghetti?
This week I've definitely been a full fledged classic spaghetti woman.
Work has been extra stressful this week, my parents are coming for a visit this weekend, the clock of Evan having to leave is always ticking down in the back of my mind, and this past week we got some bad news with a close family friend. In the last year there has been multiple instances of young people passing away, or having severe complications out of nowhere. One day they are healthy the next their in a hospital bed fighting for their lives.
Brigitte has been having eye trouble, which makes her vision incredibly blurry. She's hoping she doesn't lose her sight completely. She has 2 young boys and a daughter that's my brother's age.
My friend Brenda was sitting at her computer one day and her fingers went numb. She went to her doctors as a precaution and it turned out she has an extremely aggressive cancerous tumor in an untouchable part of her brain. She has 3 young kids.
Amy, my childhood friend's mom starting having pain in her legs. Tests showed that she had Leukemia, and is still struggling for her life. No one in her family is a match for a donor, so she's put on the never ending wait for a match.
Yesterday we learned our friend Peggy was in a medically induced coma with bleeding on her brain. Peggy, her husband, and young son flew to LA to have a minor surgery on a nerve that was being pinched along her jaw. 20 minutes after surgery she was put on life support to save her. Her blood was not clotting correctly, and they did tests that found she has a rare blood disorder (1 in 5 million). The doctors still don't understand why she's bleeding on the complete opposite side of her head that they were working on. She's had bleeding on her brain for over 24 hours...the doctors say if she does survive she will most likely have significant brain damage.
Sometimes it's just hard to understand why we, or others, are put into horrible, dark situations like these. It's just been one person after another. One prayer group after another praying fervently with no answer, no healing. God can work in miraculous ways, and I'm trying not to doubt that. But, after going through everything with Uncle Don, who I truly believed God would heal, I just can't hope for a miracle as easily as I did before. I feel horrible admitting this. I feel like I'm dooming these people by just thinking it. I guess I'm not doubting God, I'm just having a hard time understanding why. Why does he choose to heal some people, but not others? Why do really bad things happen to really good people? I am broken for these people.
I've been wrapped up in this all week.
And you know what?
I don't think I will ever know the answer to this.
Instead of wondering why, I will fight. I will pray, I will hope for a miracle, and I'll remember La Vita Bella.